[Hermione]

[everyone_takes]

Not that she'd say it, but Kate felt sort of stupid about the whole trying to burn down the bookshelf thing. Having to spend the night in an IPD holding cell wasn't exactly her idea of a good time, especially given that the rest of the night had been pretty good. Something had happened to shift her mood, something between Harry and the bookshelf, but she couldn't remember what it might have been beyond the books themselves. There were bits and pieces of the party she still couldn't remember, but for the most part, everything else had come back to her.

Everything. That included acting like a complete asshole to Jeff when he'd just been trying to stop her from getting into trouble. Eventually she'd have to find him and apologize, not to mention thank him for what he'd done, but she wasn't ready for that just yet. It wasn't like Kate was a stranger to doing stupid shit, but usually the only people involved were her family members and even then, she tried to keep her trouble to herself.

Instead of finding Jeff, like she knew she should, she was distracting herself with the task of moving her things into the hut she and Marshall had moved to. The Compound had been nice enough, but she wanted a real door, something that could afford her a bit of privacy when she needed it. Not to mention that she'd missed natural light. The place was still sort of a mess, half her clothes on the floor and the furniture was pretty pathetic, but she was sure they could fix it up.

It didn't have marble counters or a heated pool, but it would be okay.

She was heading down the boardwalk with an armful of things when she spotted Hermione. "Hey!" she called, peering over the top of the pile, trying to balance the photo album from Alice in her arms. Hermione, at least, hadn't witnessed her shit fit from the rave and hopefully she didn't know about the whole night in jail thing either.

"Do you think you could give me a hand?" she asked, offering the other girl a grin. "This is the last trip, I swear I'm not trying to rope you into helping me move all my crap."

Comments

[everyone_takes]

"Tell that to Alice, the happy fifties housewife version of my mother," Kate answered dryly, as she gestured vaguely at the photo album. Of course Alice had been the one to make something like that for her, because Alice always had the most to apologize for. T might terrorize Marshall and Buck made life hard for her dad, but Alice was always the one that Kate had the most trouble with.

"She only made that album to apologize for basically calling me a slut," she said, even though Alice had never actually used that word. There had been others, though, words that had hurt a lot and then there had been the soap. It was all pretty distant now, but she still remembered it sometimes. And it still stung. Kate knew it wasn't her mother calling her those things, that Tara never would have done any of that, but it was still hard to separate things when Alice looked so much like her.

"It felt really shitty," she admitted. "Don't let anyone make you feel that way. They're wrong."

[cleverness]

Hermione wasn't, on the whole, a naive person. She understood full well that there were plenty of parents in the world who weren't entirely kind to their children, who criticized them more than they were due, and she knew that there must have been some people in the world who were so spoken to by their parents even without another identity to hide behind and explain the change in demeanor. She understood that, but it didn't make it any easier to absorb, her brows furrowing at Kate's description, her head lightly shaking.

"I'm glad she apologized," Hermione said then, firm, brokering no argument. "Because that's... it's absolutely unreasonable, truly. I've always felt that so long as what a person does in their spare time doesn't negatively impact the lives of those around them, then it's their choice whether or not they want to engage in the activity, and we shouldn't judge them for it. I'm very sorry that you had to cope with that. She's wrong, of course."

[everyone_takes]

"Totally wrong," Kate agreed, though the older she got, the more she could understand why her mom had been so stressed out about the whole thing. Fifteen was fairly young, after all, but at least she hadn't been stupid about it. Not entirely stupid, anyway. The morning after pill sort of counted as thinking things through. Even if she'd been young and hadn't been that smart about it, sleeping with one guy didn't make her a slut.

With a shake of her head, she smiled, refusing to dwell on the past like that. It had happened three years ago. Alice wasn't here to make her feel shitty anymore, and besides that, there was nothing she could even bitch about anymore. Kate was taking classes and she was in a totally normal relationship. There was the thing with the bookshelf, of course, but she wasn't going to do that again.

"Whatever, doesn't matter now," she said. "But, seriously, it'll be okay. If you give it a bit of time, it'll start being fun."

[cleverness]

"I suppose I'll just have to keep my chin up, then," Hermione replied, before dissolving into a few more laughs, shaking her head at how ridiculous it must have sounded for her to get so worked up over the matter of sex. At her age, at the point where she and Ron were in her relationship, it was only a natural step to consider, not something that she cared to entirely turn away the possibility of. But for a young woman who had a tendency to overthink practically all decisions in her life, it was still rather daunting to face, and not for the first time, Hermione wished that she had the natural ease and grace that Kate seemed to be blessed with.

"I'm sure that I sound ridiculous right now, it's just that... none of us really had the time to consider things like this, prior to arriving here on the island. Or, well." She tilted her head, fighting the urge to roll her eyes. "When Ronald was dating his previous girlfriend, who knows what they might've gotten up to. I made a point of not involving myself with that. But between the threat of war and, for myself personally, the endless coursework, there just wasn't time. I'm glad that there's more freedom here for us to gain that experience, but it doesn't feel like an entirely natural transition to me anymore, if that makes sense. The personal knowledge doesn't align well with experience anymore."

[everyone_takes]

With a nod, Kate stretched her legs out, leaning forward as she listened to Hermione. It wasn't the same type of life she'd led at all and it wasn't something she could really understand, but it made sense to her. She could imagine something like a big war might be more important than worrying about what your boyfriend might want you to do next weekend.

"Harry told me a bit about the war," she said. Sometimes it was still difficult to believe people she knew, people her age had gone through things like that. In Kansas, nothing had gotten much more dramatic than Buck sleeping with Pammy and while that had sucked, it wasn't even remotely on the same level. Teenagers weren't supposed to do things like that. They weren't supposed to have to fight or die.

"But I can see how that'd be sort of distracting," she continued with a small smile, even though there wasn't anything funny about it at all. The very thought of it still scared her a bit, but she didn't want to say that. Not even to Hermione. There was something childish about it, something silly. Kate could talk about sex for hours, but war and death... that was too much.

[cleverness]

Sometimes, Hermione was the exact opposite of perceptive. It happened most often when she was caught in a train of thought, when she was learning, reviewing, everything shaped with a goal in mind that she did her best to reach. On the island, idle conversations like these helped to breach the gap that had been built after so many years in Hogwarts. No longer stuck all day with a nose practically pressed against parchment, Hermione had been given the opportunity to meet people of all backgrounds, interests, and abilities alike. She glanced at Kate again, with no small amount of gratitude over the fact that the island had seen fit to give them each other, two girls that probably would never have walked the same circles in a single world. The smaller the population size, Hermione thought to herself, somehow the more likely it became that she met people of a sort she'd never interacted with before. Those who didn't care about studies. Who didn't care about honor. Who saw no merit in being brave.

There were things to learn from each one of those peoples, and from those like Kate, and for that along, Hermione had reason to be thankful enough.

But more than that, she simply felt blessed by the friendship alone, and so with that closer eye on Kate, she began to worry, seeing a few signs of stress and unease.

"Sorry," she apologized quickly. "I'm sorry, that wasn't... exactly a good topic for casual conversation, was it? I don't know how much Harry's told you, I didn't mean to push any further than either of you might be comfortable with."

[everyone_takes]

"No, it's not... it's not that," Kate said, still leaning against her legs as she tried to think of how to explain to Hermione what it was. Because they were friends, she wanted Hermione to be able to tell her things, even things that she herself wouldn't have had any sort of experience with, but there was something undeniably unsettling about the idea of war. It made her think of Harry dying, which made her think of Lionel dying and then she could only think of Marshall and how teenagers weren't supposed to ever be in danger like that.

But that was just stupid, wishful thinking. People were in danger every day.

"Harry told me about... dying," she said slowly. "It's just sort of... it freaks me out." There was a lot of shit she could take, she knew, a lot of things she'd already dealt with, but death made everything real in a very different way. "You don't ever think about people your age dying. I mean, I didn't, anyway."

[cleverness]

Hermione nodded in understanding, feeling her heart tighten in her chest at the very reminder of it. There were days now that she woke up without nightmares. Woke up expecting that she'd hear the distant crash of waves, the sound of the wind blowing overhead, the warmth of the island resting against her skin and the steady breathing of Ron on the other side of the bed. But there were also still days when she expected to wake up cold, to wake up with an unnatural silence around her, as drawn by a spell. Or, worse still, to wake up to the dark and dank of Malfoy Manor, to the tinny laughter which spread through the halls.

If someone who had been exposed to such dangers for years already still found herself waking up to the unease, to a stomach knotted in turns, how could they expect anyone else not to be unsettled?

"We didn't either," Hermione replied softly, once she'd found her words, a smile still ghosting her lips. "We'd come to terms with it in the last year, after finally looking at our lives and seeing all the danger that we'd been put in, year after year, and after hearing a prophecy that didn't seem to favor Harry's chances. But you know, most of our lives, though we'd always faced these kinds of dangers, we never really thought that anything of that level would happen to us. We were children, you know. Even when everything seems hopeless, if it turns out right, you start believing that at some point down the road, things will be okay again, no matter what."

She shrugged, though the movement was stiff. "I don't blame you for finding it unnerving. It's nothing that children, or... or people our age should have been involved in, really."

[everyone_takes]

Home had been hard, there was no denying that, but Kate would have taken it any day over the things that Hermione and the others had gone through. At least she was aware enough to know that, to know she'd had it relatively easy in comparison. There was nothing Alice could do that would put her in that much danger. Even when her mom was convinced she'd done the worst thing in the world, at least both her kids had still been alive.

"I guess no one expects stuff like that," she said, frowning a little. Even when you were immersed in it, it had to be scary, she figured. All that stuff happening around you, happening to you. "You don't see a lot of death in Overland Park. Not even a lot of violence. Our neighbour killed himself, but that was pretty much the scariest thing to ever happen around us."

There was Lionel's death, of course, but she hadn't been there for it. Hearing about it second hand was still scary, still something she didn't like thinking about very much, most especially because he was here now. Here and alive and in tact.

[cleverness]

"My family certainly wasn't expecting it either," Hermione empathized, her words quiet, and not begrudging in the slightest. Although she was sure that her own battles had been just as difficult, in their own way, as the personal struggles that Kate had in her household, Hermione wasn't in the habit of drawing comparisons. All that she ever wanted was to understand, as much as it was possible to, the positions that other people came from, Kate herself very much included. "We lived in a very standard neighborhood. If anything, it was safer than most. My parents were both dentists, you see, so we never really wanted for income, and we were able to live in a nice area. But... war crept up on us, and we never would have known, had it not been for the fact that I had magic."

Rubbing the back of her neck with her hand, Hermione shook her head. "And, I don't know, it wasn't... something that I wanted them to grapple with any further than they had to. So, as soon as I was old enough to legally make my own way, and as soon as the war grew to be too imminent, I." She paused, biting down on her lower lip. "I had their memories altered so that they'd move to Australia, just until, just until I'd be able to come back, safe from the war. It's just not something anyone should have to be saddled with, least of all when there's nothing that one can offer to the cause."

[everyone_takes]

"Memories altered?" Kate asked, a frown creasing her forehead, pulling her brows together. Although Hermione hadn't said it specifically, it sort of sounded like she'd made them... forget her somehow. Or at least not worry about bringing her with them if they moved to Australia and while Kate didn't know much about what it took to be a parent, she knew her own parents never would have left either of their kids behind if something like that was happening. Not if they knew they were doing it. Which she thought meant she was probably right.

"They didn't... they didn't know they were leaving you, did they?" she asked, even though it was a scary question to ask. The other question was What if you hadn't come back? but she couldn't bring herself to voice those words. That part was done, the war was over, as far as Harry had told her, which meant Hermione could go back to her parents.

[cleverness]

"We're capable of altering memories. Or, well, wizards and witches who have the... skill for it, at least. It's not something easily practiced," Hermione explained quietly, hands fidgeting in her lap, hoping that she wasn't delving too deep into the detalis; the last thing that she wanted to do was to unnerve Kate in any way. Yet, it felt like once the story had gotten underway, Hermione was helpless to keep herself from recounting it all, as though stopping would have done everything an injustice. Would have been disrespectful to the experiences all of them had shared. "Especially considering what one would have to do in order to practice."

Her gaze briefly flickered up. "But I knew that I couldn't have my parents following me just in an effort to keep me safe, and I knew that I couldn't pull myself out of the war, not when Harry and Ron were headed into the thick of it, so I erased all my parents' memories of me. That way, if we hadn't been successful, they would still live full lives. I'm sure they'd be livid with me, if I ever managed to find and reverse the spell."

[everyone_takes]

"Jesus," Kate said on a sigh before she smiled slightly. "Yeah, I can guess they would've been pretty pissed." She couldn't imagine what any parent would really do in a situation like that. What she did know was that if she'd had the ability to do something like that, her mother might've turned into Buck or T for weeks on end instead of just a few hours.

But no matter how pissed they might have been, Kate could understand why Hermione had done it. Without those memories, they would have been in much less danger. Hermione would have been in less danger, too, she figured. "That must've been tough," she said. "You must miss them, huh?" Though she tried not to talk about it much, Kate missed her parents, but at least she had the comfort of knowing they remembered her.

[cleverness]

"As much as any child would a pair of loving parents," Hermione replied, her lips set and tone realistic, if slightly defeated. She'd dwelled on it any number of weeks while on the island, the thought of eventually reuniting with her parents being no small motivation to find out as much as she could about Tabula Rasa in a short amount of time. But at the same time, she was more than aware of the fact that most of her friends, both on the island and off, had equally heavy burdens to bear. It made complaining about her own feel that much more inconsiderate, and so she did her best to keep her chin up whenever possible.

It wasn't that hard, with a friend like Kate.

"But... I do remind myself that the chance of seeing them again isn't in any way small. There's even the possibility that they could arrive here on the island, although on the whole, I suppose that it's a little less common for middle-aged parents to show up."

[everyone_takes]

"Hey, I keep holding out hope for the same thing, so let's pretend there's a good chance that middle-aged parents will show up," Kate said, smiling a little as she thought about what her mom and dad would make of the island. Max would probably adjust alright, as long as he knew she and Marshall were safe and he had Tara with him. Her mom might take a little longer, she'd probably spend a good chunk of her time being someone else, but she'd probably end up okay, too.

"God, my mom..." she trailed off and grinned, shaking her head. "I would love to see Harry meet my mom when she was Buck or something." Not T. Kate loved T most of the time, but she'd also seen what T had done with Jason. Harry probably wouldn't make out with Tara in a shed anywhere, but she didn't want to run the risk that T might at least try and make things super weird.

"T made out with my brother's not-boyfriend once," she said suddenly. "So maybe that'd actually be a really bad idea."

[cleverness]

"Let's," Hermione agreed with a smile, before falling silent to listen to the rest of Kate's tale. As far as parents went, Hermione felt that her parents would react in a manner that most people would probably have seen as almost alarmingly calm— she still remembered their reactions upon first spotting the letter from Hogwarts, lightly flabbergasted, but not afraid or doubting enough to keep Hermione from running off at such a young age to a boarding school that was relatively hard to keep in contact with. An island capable of pulling people from different times and universes seemed to be only a natural extension of what was already commonplace in her world, and with how much she'd always shared with her parents, they would adjust well, she thought to herself. No matter whether or not it was a fact she wanted to dwell for too long on.

"Though, yeah, I think... I mean, Harry's seen many strange things, he'd probably be able to manage well enough, but only after a time," Hermione grinned, fond. "We've seen people act contrary to their usual nature before, though more often than not, it's the result of a spell, which I suppose is easier to explain away. But he'd, he'd make a very earnest effort to get to know your mother, I'm sure. Harry's that type of person. I've no shortage of praise for him on the whole, seeing as how he's been my best friend for years."

[everyone_takes]

"Yeah, no, I know he'd do his best," Kate agreed, but for a moment she was thinking of Ben, of the shitty things he'd said about Tara. It wasn't like Kate hadn't been bitching about her at the time, but she was the only person who was allowed to call her mom crazy. That was just how it went, those were the rules she lived by, and the fact that Ben had been so happy to give her mom shit was a big part of why they hadn't gotten very far.

Plus, he'd been a total creep.

"These other guys I dated used to talk about getting me out," she admitted, smiling faintly. "Like I was stuck in some kind of personal hell. We would run away together and everything would be totally fine, blah blah blah, like they could solve all the world's problems. It was so ridiculous." It had never seemed to register with them that she hadn't needed to be saved. That she would need Gene to do it was such a totally ridiculous concept, too.

[cleverness]

"That's ridiculous," Hermione shook her head at once, brows furrowing in slight disbelief. Or, perhaps, more with the hope that Kate hadn't allowed herself to be subjected to that kind of treatment for long. "I think all of us need the occasional break from the status quo of our lives, and to have the chance to find reprieve for anything which may be putting pressure on us, but to suggest that you needed to be saved from the life altogether is simply... it's not his choice to make. At least, you certainly seem like the type of person who would realize if she was caught in an overly unhealthy position."

Letting out a soft breath between her teeth, Hermione shook her head again. "I would certainly have given such a man a piece of my mind, but... then again, I've never been particularly shy about doing that with anyone. It's certainly earned me my share of discontent peers over time."