everyone_takes | April 17

For the most part, Kate doesn't believe people when they say they just know that someone is gone. Every time someone has disappeared, she's noticed things that are strange, but she's never had this feeling, this intense knowledge that they're just gone, not like others have claimed. Sometimes she wonders if they're just telling themselves they knew to make themselves feel better when it takes them several days to notice.

That's sort of how she feels when she finds herself standing in the middle of the hut Harry used to live in, a box of jewellery in her hands. It's been two days since she last saw him, but sometimes that happens. Sometimes they both get busy and they miss each other instead of connecting, that's just life and she's taken it for granted. So a little part of her wants to tell herself that she's known all along, but the truth is that she's only just realized it now and she feels stupid. Lost. She feels like a child playing at being grown up and suddenly all the things she's been doing over the last few months don't matter.

Clutching the box against her stomach, she makes her way home and she sits in the front yard, letting Chang crawl into her lap even though he's far too big to do it. He crushes the box, but she doesn't bother moving it. She isn't even sure why she took it. Harry never gave any of it to her and now he never will.

So many people have disappeared and she hasn't cried. She isn't going to start now, but when Chang whines and licks her chin, she wraps both her arms around him and presses her face into his fur.

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"Hey," she answers, lifting her face from Chang's fur. Her eyes are still dry, but she doesn't feel numb, she feels angry and sad and guilty. In her lap, she can feel the corners of the box pushing into her leg, but she doesn't move it yet. She's almost embarrassed by it, like she shouldn't have taken it from his hut.

"You already know, don't you?" she asks. The way he's talking to her, she figures he has to.

Danny shrugs, but it's one of those defeated motions that he wishes he didn't have to make. "We keep an eye on some stuff in our patrols and someone made a note that it might have happened." And here? Might is good enough to assume. "Is it true? Is he gone?"

"Yeah," she answers, not quite looking at Danny, but looking at Chang instead. She strokes his fur and she's never really wanted a dog, but now she's not sure what she'd do without him. He's the only thing she has left of Jeff and now the stupid box under the dog is the only thing she has left of Harry.

"I mean, I haven't seen him for a few days and sometimes that happens, but when I went by his hut, all his stuff was gone. All the important stuff. And he and Ron aren't there. I waited for awhile, but they didn't come back."

The one good thing about disappearances is that, unlike murder, there's nothing and no one to avenge. That goes both ways, though, and he's well aware that it's not the best thing to some people. He reaches over and rubs a hand over her back in soft circles, knowing that nothing he says is going to make it better.

They just have to ride this out. "Is there anything there you want to keep or take?"

His hand on her back feels nice and Kate closes her eyes for a second, letting herself be comforted. It won't last forever, that feeling of loss will start pulling at her heart again any second, but it's nice for a moment.

"I took this," she says, opening her eyes and digging the box out from under Chang. It's a little crushed, but she opens it easily, showing Danny the jewellery inside. "He made it all. Maybe I shouldn't have taken it. If it was for me, he would have given it to me, right?"

"Nah, you should have taken it," Danny says, seeing as he would've insisted that she get it, even if he'd had to go in and clear out all the remaining things that didn't suddenly vanish like someone snapped their fingers and decided to be jackasses about things. "I wish I could say something better about this, Kate, I really do. I wish I could promise I'm never gonna vanish, but I can't do that either."

"No, I know. I don't expect anyone to promise that and if they did, I'd... well, okay, I'd probably kind of appreciate it anyway, even if I knew it was stupid and pointless," she says, toying with the jewellery before she puts the lid back on the box. Chang seems to understand that she has someone else here now and he wanders off, sniffing at bushes. "It's happened so many times already, I'm not even surprised. I'm sad, but I'm not surprised."

"Yeah, but I'm still here. And like I said, it's not that I'm saying I won't go anywhere, but I have it on good authority that I am like that pebble in your shoe, I am really hard to get rid of," Danny says, practically a guarantee. "Seriously, I'm a pain in your ass, but I'll be here for you until I can't be. I'll promise that."

"And I totally appreciate it. Don't get me wrong, I love you and I'm glad you're around, but... it's Harry, you know," she says. Danny's a lot like Max and even if her parents are kind of insane, she's always had them and they've always been good to her. She's never had anyone like Harry before, never anyone she cared enough about to be good for.

"Yeah, I know," Danny says, wishing that he didn't, but he's laid awake enough times at night and thought about how he'd be if Steve went and...well, he already kind of knows, thanks to his divorce with Rachel and it's not a pretty picture. "My brother, when I got divorced, he showed up at my motel room with a six pack of beer every night. So, whether you like it or not, you have a daily visitor in me, now."

Anyone else and she might have begged him not to, just to give her time alone, but she knows from experience that Danny isn't likely to listen to her and that she actually won't mind it. He's as close to family, as close to another parent as she's got on this island and even though she doesn't say it like, ever, she hopes he knows.

"Okay, but only if you bring beer," she says, looking over at him with a little smile. "Those are my rules."

"You're legal, so I'm not protesting that. And, besides, truth is, a couple of weeks of being a miserable and lonely drunken bum aren't so bad," Danny admits, squeezing her shoulder lightly. "We can drink until you forget what you're pissed and sad about. That's what Mattie always did. He made me forget."

Kate knows she has a tendency to make bad decisions without the help of alcohol, but being drunk has always made it easier. She thinks maybe she should be over that by now, she should be enough of an adult to be smart about this whole thing, but the truth is being an adult is tiring and for so long, she only really tried for Harry. "Well, as long as you're around to keep me from doing anything too dumb while I'm drunk, that's a good thing," she decides.

"I'd have to arrest you if you did something really dumb, so you know, having me there will help. You drink it out, but you stay out of trouble that gets you locked away. See? Win win," Danny says, but his smile is a little dull for what he's trying for.

She hadn't meant something dumb of the illegal variety, but she's not about to say that to Danny. Instead she just nods, because she figures lighting the bookshelf on fire might have introduced them, but it was also enough to make her realize she doesn't want to spend time in island jail.

"Win win," she agrees, though her voice is a little sad.

April 17

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