April 17

[everyone_takes]

For the most part, Kate doesn't believe people when they say they just know that someone is gone. Every time someone has disappeared, she's noticed things that are strange, but she's never had this feeling, this intense knowledge that they're just gone, not like others have claimed. Sometimes she wonders if they're just telling themselves they knew to make themselves feel better when it takes them several days to notice.

That's sort of how she feels when she finds herself standing in the middle of the hut Harry used to live in, a box of jewellery in her hands. It's been two days since she last saw him, but sometimes that happens. Sometimes they both get busy and they miss each other instead of connecting, that's just life and she's taken it for granted. So a little part of her wants to tell herself that she's known all along, but the truth is that she's only just realized it now and she feels stupid. Lost. She feels like a child playing at being grown up and suddenly all the things she's been doing over the last few months don't matter.

Clutching the box against her stomach, she makes her way home and she sits in the front yard, letting Chang crawl into her lap even though he's far too big to do it. He crushes the box, but she doesn't bother moving it. She isn't even sure why she took it. Harry never gave any of it to her and now he never will.

So many people have disappeared and she hasn't cried. She isn't going to start now, but when Chang whines and licks her chin, she wraps both her arms around him and presses her face into his fur.

Comments

[haolehothead]

As part of the IPD, Danny's pretty up to the moment when it comes to people vanishing. It means that as soon as he saw the updated list, he's out of the chair and out the door, heading for Kate with the worry under his skin that something might have happened or she might have done something. After Esther, Danny's quicker to panic than he'd like to be, but he's hurrying, fast as he can.

He finds her in the yard and his heart breaks to see her with the dog. "Kate," he sighs and sits down beside her, wishing he knew words that were better for this. He's been a detective for years, but breaking the news has always been hard. "Hey," he murmurs.

[everyone_takes]

"Hey," she answers, lifting her face from Chang's fur. Her eyes are still dry, but she doesn't feel numb, she feels angry and sad and guilty. In her lap, she can feel the corners of the box pushing into her leg, but she doesn't move it yet. She's almost embarrassed by it, like she shouldn't have taken it from his hut.

"You already know, don't you?" she asks. The way he's talking to her, she figures he has to.

[haolehothead]

Danny shrugs, but it's one of those defeated motions that he wishes he didn't have to make. "We keep an eye on some stuff in our patrols and someone made a note that it might have happened." And here? Might is good enough to assume. "Is it true? Is he gone?"

[everyone_takes]

"Yeah," she answers, not quite looking at Danny, but looking at Chang instead. She strokes his fur and she's never really wanted a dog, but now she's not sure what she'd do without him. He's the only thing she has left of Jeff and now the stupid box under the dog is the only thing she has left of Harry.

"I mean, I haven't seen him for a few days and sometimes that happens, but when I went by his hut, all his stuff was gone. All the important stuff. And he and Ron aren't there. I waited for awhile, but they didn't come back."

[haolehothead]

The one good thing about disappearances is that, unlike murder, there's nothing and no one to avenge. That goes both ways, though, and he's well aware that it's not the best thing to some people. He reaches over and rubs a hand over her back in soft circles, knowing that nothing he says is going to make it better.

They just have to ride this out. "Is there anything there you want to keep or take?"

[everyone_takes]

His hand on her back feels nice and Kate closes her eyes for a second, letting herself be comforted. It won't last forever, that feeling of loss will start pulling at her heart again any second, but it's nice for a moment.

"I took this," she says, opening her eyes and digging the box out from under Chang. It's a little crushed, but she opens it easily, showing Danny the jewellery inside. "He made it all. Maybe I shouldn't have taken it. If it was for me, he would have given it to me, right?"

[haolehothead]

"Nah, you should have taken it," Danny says, seeing as he would've insisted that she get it, even if he'd had to go in and clear out all the remaining things that didn't suddenly vanish like someone snapped their fingers and decided to be jackasses about things. "I wish I could say something better about this, Kate, I really do. I wish I could promise I'm never gonna vanish, but I can't do that either."

[refusedtocall]

It doesn't take a genius to tell that something's wrong. It wouldn't even if she hadn't lived with Kate for months, but as it is, Carla Jean has a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach as she heads towards the hut, taking a seat beside Kate when she gets to her and reaching over to absently ruffle Chang's fur. Whatever it is, she sure as hell isn't going to just leave Kate here.

"Hey," she says quietly, glancing over. "What happened?"

[everyone_takes]

It's funny, Kate thinks, how stuff like this happens. Not that long ago, she'd been thinking about talking to Carla Jean anyway, asking for her advice on some of the stuff she's been thinking lately, but now none of that matters. Harry's gone. There's nothing to talk about or figure out.

"Hey," she answers, lifting her face. She still isn't crying and she doesn't think she will. "I went by Harry's place. I'm pretty sure he's gone."

[refusedtocall]

It probably shouldn't even be all that surprising, but then, Carla Jean doubts there could really be any getting used to it. For that matter, she's been lucky and she knows it, with only a couple losses here that have really hurt. Then again, she'd lost everything before she got here anyway; in a way, that only makes sense.

None of that makes this right or fair, her mouth twisting into a frown as she looks over at Kate. "Shit," she says, and then in a tone that's both genuine and makes clear how pointless it will be, adds, "I'm sorry."

[everyone_takes]

"Thanks," she says, then shrugs, because it feels really stupid and kind of self centered to be complaining about this to Carla Jean. Harry's still alive somewhere, even if he and Kate won't ever see each other again. Carla Jean's husband is just gone. Forever.

"He's probably better off, anyway," she says. "I mean, he missed magic and being able to fly properly and all that shit he'd never have here. So he's probably happier."

[refusedtocall]

"Yeah, but it's not like that means a hell of a lot when you're still here. Ain't like you can keep in touch or anything," Carla Jean says, lifting one shoulder in a shrug of her own. It's not like she wants to make it sound worse or anything like that, but she can't see any reason why Kate should have to downplay her own unhappiness, either. Being the one left behind like this is never easy. "You need anything?"

[everyone_takes]

"I need to get super drunk and eat like, ten pounds of ice cream and then sleep for a week," Kate answers with a huff of laughter. It's not even really a joke, she's pretty sure all of those things will help her feel at least a little bit better, but nothing is really going to help.

"I totally knew this was going to happen," she says. "Maybe not this in particular, but I knew it couldn't last. I mean, that's just how it works. Nothing ever lasts."

[mantlethemagnificent]

Kate being in the middle of burying her face in her dog and Reggie being Reggie, it took him a few moments to clue in that something wasn't entirely right with that picture.

"Kate, you are never going to guess what I just discovered! Turns out when you mix hair gel with c- hey, woah," he said, already past her on his way to the door before he stopped in his tracks. "You okay?"

[everyone_takes]

It would have almost been easier if they'd just broken up, she thought. A break up would have sucked, but people went through that all the time, and Reggie would be sure to have something to say about it, he'd find a way to make her feel better. But a disappearance was different. It was something else. No one knew what to say to make that better.

"No," she said, lifting her head and petting Chang instead of looking at Reggie. "Harry's gone."

[mantlethemagnificent]

"Oh, man," was the only remotely appropriate thing Reggie could think to say before he hurried over to Kate's side, dropping into a crouch. His miraculous breakthrough could wait.

"That guy ruins everything."

[everyone_takes]

She laughed before she realized she was doing it, then clapped her hand over her mouth and finally looked over at Reggie. It wasn't that she was glad Harry was gone at all, but somehow hearing Reggie say that was easier to take than the usual I'm sorry and Is there anything I can do?

"He didn't do it on purpose," she said, dropping her hand. "I'm pretty sure, anyway."

[mantlethemagnificent]

"Well, duh," Reggie allowed, at least managing to rein in the urge to roll his eyes. This was a solemn occasion, after all. "Even an idiot would never leave a girl like you on purpose. Still, good intentions only count for so much. Did you just find out?"

[everyone_takes]

She smiled very faintly again, then nodded before she pushed Chang off her lap and dragged out the battered box he'd been sitting on. "I hadn't seen him in a couple of days, which isn't normal, but it's happened before, so I went by his place to see him. He wasn't there and all his stuff is gone. His owl, all his personal stuff. Just this stupid box of jewellery that he never gave me, so I took it and now I'm sitting here, like a fucking sadsack. At least I could be dramatic about it and like, cry or something."

[not_so_smooth]

"Hey, Kate, check out this cool helmet I found in the clothing booooooo-"

Not even the cool viking helmet he found in the box could distract him from how upset she looked. No one hugged their dog like that when they were happy. At least he knew her dog hadn't died?

"Hey, what's wrong?"

[everyone_takes]

She hated this part. Even before it had been Harry, she'd always hated this part, having to break the news, having to talk about it at all. Still, she couldn't just sit here and pretend that nothing was wrong, especially not since Sam had caught her hugging the damn dog.

"It's just... I went to Harry's and he's not there," she said, her voice steadier than she thought it would be.

[not_so_smooth]

"Oh."

That... really sucked. Really, really sucked. Sam thought Kate and Harry were good together. He didn't know Harry really well but he knew the guy treated Kate right and Kate liked him a lot. Losing someone like that was brutal.

"Do you want to go fill this viking helmet with booze and go get drunk?"

Yeah, he was a fantastic friend.

[everyone_takes]

For a moment, Kate just looked at Sam, trying to figure out whether or not he was serious. Then she realized it didn't matter. Even if he wasn't serious, he'd probably do it just to make her feel better and even though getting drunk was one of those bad life choices she was always making, it would make her feel better.

"Yes," she said. "That's exactly what I want, can we do that?"

[not_so_smooth]

"Boom, done," Sam said, reaching out to offer her a hand up. She was probably going to get drunk at some point and he might as well make sure she didn't do anything too awful.

"And if you drink too much, it easily doubles as a portable vomit bucket."

[everyone_takes]

"You've got this shit totally covered," she said, taking Sam's hand to get to her feet. She tugged at Chang's collar lightly, ushering him back into the hut where he immediately went to his bed and flopped down and she smiled a little before closing the door. Somehow that stupid dog had become important along the way.

"What kind of booze does one put in a viking helmet?" she asked, turning back to Sam.