[July 20]

[everyone_takes]

Kate was still pretty pissed off. The conversation she'd had with Harry earlier in the day was still more than fresh in her mind, but she had no idea what to do about it. A part of her wanted to go to Hermione, get her to talk sense into him, but that felt wrong in a way. It wouldn't be fair. Hermione didn't need to be put in the middle of something like this and Kate didn't want anyone to have to talk sense into Harry. He was supposed to have his own sense.

A part of her wanted to go find some random dude to make out with, just so she could prove to Harry that she didn't care. If he wanted to pretend he'd forgotten her, she'd just move on and forget all about him, too. But even after putting on some makeup and one of the cuter outfits she owned, Kate found it wasn't that easy. The vengeful part of her was convinced it would be, but she was hurt and even the idea of getting back at him just made her feel worse.

She was still wearing the cute outfit that evening -- adorable red shorts and a polka dot tank top -- but there was no one who cared. Lionel would have complimented her, she was sure of it, or even Jeff, but neither of them were around. Marshall would have gotten stoned with her, but he was gone, too. Effy was dealing with her own stuff and Kate felt bad about giving her anything else to worry about, so she was wandering aimlessly. When she spotted Carla Jean, though, her eyes lit up and she picked up her pace.

"Hey," she said brightly, though it was forced. "Wanna come to the Winchester?" It was a last minute plan, but right now, Kate really didn't want to be sober.

Comments

[refusedtocall]

It was a pretty unexpected offer, but Carla Jean didn't mind that. Rare as it was that there was anything important to do around here in the first place, it wasn't like she had any prior engagements — the most she ever really did was cook breakfast — and with Kate asking, it wasn't really the sort of thing she could say no to. She may not have known the other girl exceptionally well, but it was enough to count her a friend. Besides, she figured the distraction would probably do her good, when her main alternative was to sit around wondering whether or not she was losing her mind.

"Sure," she said with a small, crooked smile, closing some of the distance between them. "Any reason, or just because?"

[everyone_takes]

"Well, I need to get drunk," Kate said, figuring she should just go with the honest route and tell Carla Jean what was up. She kind of wanted to talk about it, it turned out, because she was really angry and really hurt. The only way to get rid of some of that was to tell someone about it. And to get really drunk.

"I got dumped this afternoon," she admitted. "In like, the shittiest way humanly possible."

[refusedtocall]

Carla Jean winced sympathetically at that. When it came to dating and being dumped, she didn't really have a lot of experience — she'd been too busy in high school, and married too soon after — but there wasn't a doubt in her mind that, if ever there were a reason to go get drunk, it was that. Besides, with the way she'd been feeling lately, she really couldn't complain about that course of action. Usually, she took the responsible route, not drinking overmuch, but there were always exceptions. Going out with a friend at a time like this could definitely be one of them.

"Then by all means, count me in," she said. "Come on, we'll go get drunk and you can tell me more about what happened then."

[everyone_takes]

"You're the best," Kate said, her shoulders sagging a little when Carla Jean agreed to go with her. It had been such a shitty day so far that a part of her had just been prepared to keep getting rejected, over and over again, until she more or less had to crawl home because she felt so terrible. But having Carla Jean say yes improved her mood. Just a little bit. Not enough for her to not want to get drunk and forget that this whole shitty day had ever happened, but a little bit.

"It was seriously the worst," she said, turning toward the Winchester. "Is that just like, a thing guys do? They act like good guys and treat you super nice for more than a year and then turn into total douche bags when they decide they're done?"

[refusedtocall]

"I couldn't tell you," Carla Jean said a little ruefully, shaking her head. There'd only ever really been one guy for her, and Llewelyn, dumbass though he might have been, would never have pulled a stunt like that. She'd been lucky, until the end when she wasn't. None of that was worth talking about now, though, when she would have really liked to give this boyfriend of Kate's a piece of her mind, seeing no need to make this about her own history. "Even if it is, though, that isn't any excuse for it."

[everyone_takes]

"No, you're right about that," Kate agreed, because whatever the reason, it was a really shitty things Harry was doing to her. She blinked a few times, staring down at the boardwalk as they walked along, because there was no way in hell she was going to cry about this. Not out in broad daylight, not when Harry had basically called her crazy.

"He pretended not to know who I was," she said after a few moments. "I mean, I get it, there's no good way to break up with a person, but that's exceptionally shitty."

[refusedtocall]

Carla Jean raised her eyebrows at that, admittedly a little surprised, if only because it sounded so absurd. Her first instinct was to say that Kate deserved better, but she doubted that would help matters any. That didn't make it any less exceptionally shitty, or, she imagined, any easier to deal with the immediate aftermath of. Hopefully, she thought, this would help, getting drunk an even better idea than it had seemed before.

"He couldn't even tell you?" she asked, disdain heavy in her voice. "In what world is that supposed to be an alright way to deal with things? He should at least man up and say it."

[everyone_takes]

"Right?" Kate asked, spreading her arms wide. Not that she thought anyone was going to disagree with her, but after facing Harry and then being unable to find someone to really talk to, having someone agree with her felt pretty damn good. "He told me that I should go to the clinic and find someone who could help. Like I'm some kind of crazy person who needs to be put in a cell so I don't go all obsessive stalkery on him or whatever."

The way he'd acted, she was pretty sure he believed she'd do exactly that. But she was going to show him. She was going to pretend he didn't even exist.

[refusedtocall]

Carla Jean had half a mind to go hunt this boyfriend down and go give him a piece of her mind, but then, if he was saying shit like that to someone he'd been dating, she could only imagine how poorly something like that would go over from a stranger. These days, her grasp on her own sanity felt tenuous enough without setting herself up to be called a crazy person. For that alone, though, she almost thought she could understand at least that part of it. Even in her own head, it was instinctive to get defensive, to insist otherwise. When there was clearly nothing wrong with Kate, it was probably even worse.

"Sounds to me like he's the one who could use some help," she said, letting out a short, dark laugh. "Because there's clearly somethin' wrong with him if he thinks that's the best way to break up with someone. What the hell's even the point?"

[everyone_takes]

"I don't even know," Kate admitted as they arrived at the Winchester. Without even looking around -- Neil would probably let her bitch to him, too, if he was working -- she practically threw herself into a chair, leaning her elbows on the table. "I've been thinking about that like, all day. Sometimes he can be kinda moody, but I've never seen him act like that. Not toward anyone."

It sort of made her wonder if he thought she deserved it somehow. If she'd done something that had really pissed him off without realizing it. Either way, it was still bullshit. No one deserved being treated like that.

[refusedtocall]

"Maybe he just hides it well," Carla Jean said, sliding into the seat across from Kate's. "Didn't want you to see what he was really like when he was with you, then when he decided he didn't want to be anymore, gave it up." Usually, she was inclined to give people the benefit of the doubt. In this case, though, it was difficult to see how there could be any option but this guy being a total dick.

[everyone_takes]

Kate really didn't want to believe that about Harry, even now, even after everything. All the shit he'd been through, the things he'd seen and done, the fact that he was friends with Hermione and Ron, who were both really great people. But she didn't know what else she was supposed to believe.

"This shit is fucking confusing," she said with a sigh. "Do you want a drink? Because I am going up to that bar to get myself a drink."

[refusedtocall]

"I will absolutely have a drink," Carla Jean said with a short, decisive nod. God knew it couldn't hurt, and whatever other shit might have been going on, she still knew how to have fun. The occasion called for it. On a night like this, it wouldn't have been fair to just sit around while Kate drank, and she figured she could probably use the break anyway. "You want me to stay here and keep the table?"

[everyone_takes]

Kate nodded and then asked, "Something girly or something to get drunk?" Because there was a big difference sometimes -- though less of one on the island, she figured -- and sometimes a person just wanted a girly drink. Right now, she knew what she was going for. Even if the drink tasted like gasoline, she wanted it because she wanted to get wasted.

[refusedtocall]

"Only one answer to a question like that," Carla Jean said, huffing out a laugh. "Somethin' to get drunk it is." Even if she wasn't looking to get wasted, she'd never really been the girly drinks sort, and now was no exception. As far as she could tell, the cocktails that came in fancy glasses, tinted pink with little umbrellas floating in them, defeated the purpose, especially at a time like this.

[everyone_takes]

"Good," Kate said emphatically, then disappeared toward the bar. It was sort of nice that she didn't have to worry about whether or not she was old enough or where she'd get a fake ID. That shit didn't matter on the island and she returned to the table with two drinks, even though she'd sort of wanted to order five. five each.

"I got us shots, too," she said, sitting down again, sliding one of the drinks over to Carla Jean. "They said they'd bring them over."

[refusedtocall]

"Well, alright, then," Carla Jean said with a grin, lifting her drink in some approximation of a toast before taking a sip of it, glad it was strong. "Might as well go all out, huh?" She, for one, wasn't going to complain, though she was sure Kate had plenty of reason to right about now, given what had brought them here in the first place. That was part of why she thought it was better to drink with company, though. It was bound to be a lot less miserable that way, and she would never have done this on her own. "I can't even remember the last time I did shots."

[everyone_takes]

Kate had to think about it for a moment, lips pursed thoughtfully, trying to remember the last time she'd done shots. At one of the parties. Probably with Harry, though she was outright refusing to think of any good memories she had with him at the moment, which was tough, because pretty much all the memories she had with him were good ones.

"I think the last time I had a shot was at one of the raves," she said. "One of the first ones, I think. Down in the caves." Sometimes, she just wanted to do that again. Get completely fucked up and not think about anything else.

[refusedtocall]

"I never went to any of 'em," Carla Jean said, shrugging. For that matter, she couldn't really remember anything specific that had happened in the time she'd been here, but she didn't usually pay attention to that sort of thing. She never had, not even when she was in school and some of her classmates were. There had just always been too much else to do. Now, though, the chance to relax for a while was too good to pass up. "So that in itself makes it a long time."

[everyone_takes]

"I'd say you should totally go, but I get how they're not for everyone. Sometimes I'm not sure they're really for me anymore," she admitted. A lot of shit had changed in the time since she'd arrived on the island. Princess Valhalla Hawkwind had pretty much been retired, for one, and she'd been without her parents for nearly two years, without her brother for a big chunk of that, too. As much as she wanted to kill everyone most of the time, family had always been important to Kate and learning to live without them had been hard.

"I mean, I love parties and all, but parties when you're nineteen are different from parties when you're sixteen."

[refusedtocall]

Carla Jean huffed out a laugh, brow raising in emphatic agreement. That, in her opinion, was putting it mildly, for any number of reasons. "A lot of things when you're nineteen are different from a lot of things when you're sixteen," she pointed out. Parties, of course, were no exception in that, but it was difficult not to think about herself some. At sixteen, she'd met the love of her life, gotten married, moved away. At nineteen, she'd become a widow, lost the woman who'd raised her, and been killed herself, all within the span of a few weeks. It didn't get much different than that. "Maybe that means your taste in parties changes."

[everyone_takes]

"Maybe your taste in everything changes," Kate agreed, pausing to take a long sip from her drink. "Maybe your taste in men changes." Or maybe it didn't. She'd thought it had, that she'd gone from chasing after fuck-ups like Ben and creepers like Gene to actually finding someone who'd been good to her. It was like nothing at all had changed, after all. Harry'd done the same thing that the others had done.

Maybe he wasn't as creepy as Gene, but he'd still been a dick.

"I once fooled around with my manager at my job at this stupid restaurant," she admitted. "And he totally stalked me. He like, got into my house and sent me weird poetry videos and stole a picture of me when I was a kid. Total creeper."

[refusedtocall]

Carla Jean made a face, shuddering exaggeratedly, before she took another sip of her own drink. Though she wasn't any stranger to guys acting creepy — hell, even just at work, she had seen her fair share of it — breaking into a house and taking things was on a completely different level. Briefly, she hoped that they'd called the cops or something, but it didn't seem worth spending too much time on, especially when they were here because of another guy being a jackass.

"Sounds like creeper's an understatement, you ask me," she said, brow raising. Absently spinning her glass between her palms, she smiled a little, something she could do now, not quite so caught up in the past. "Far as men go, though, there's only ever really been one for me."

[everyone_takes]

"Really?" Kate asked, surprised. Carla Jean was ridiculously cute, the kind of cute that attracted all sorts of guys, she figured. "Like only dated one guy 'cause your parents wouldn't let you date for ages or like, true love, one person for your whole life kinda thing?"

It wasn't impossible, she knew. Her parents had been together since they'd been kids, practically, married and pregnant with her before they were even out of their teens, but it was still something completely different than what she'd had herself.

[refusedtocall]

"The second," Carla Jean answered, just the slightest bit sheepish, lifting her left hand, plain gold band sitting around her ring finger just as it had for over three years by now. "I met my husband when I was sixteen, an' we got married that year." Sometimes a person was just sure. Even now, knowing how everything ended, she wouldn't have done any of it differently, at least not where that part was concerned. It was all worth it to have gotten what she did.

[everyone_takes]

"Holy shit!" Kate burst out, probably louder than necessary, but she got up onto her knees on her chair and leaned over the chair to look at the ring. Here she was, the same age as Carla Jean, and the only thing she'd managed to do was have a boyfriend for over a year before he'd pretended to forget about her. That was as good as her track record got.

"You've been married since you were sixteen," she said. "Wow. Pretty much the only thing I was doing at sixteen was getting stoned and hating my parents."

[refusedtocall]

It wasn't an entirely uncommon reaction, and even if it had been, Carla Jean wouldn't have been all that self-conscious for it. So she hadn't done things entirely conventionally. She also hadn't been the only one. Plenty of girls back home got married young; she had just done so a little sooner than most of them, which was fine. She'd finished school early, too. Sometimes it just worked that way.

"I think that's what most people are doin' at sixteen," she pointed out, one corner of her mouth twitching a little higher. "But I met him and... I knew."

[everyone_takes]

"Wow," Kate said, sitting back in her chair again, her legs still tucked under her body as she thought about that. With Harry, she'd been pretty sure herself. She'd just known that he was good for her and good to her and then this had happened. Apparently she'd been wrong.

"So I guess it must suck that he's not here with you, huh?" she asked, frowning a little. "My parents got married pretty young, too, and it would be weird if only my mom was here."

[refusedtocall]

"He was here," Carla Jean replied, more thoughtful than melancholy, lifting her glass to take a sip before she continued. "Years ago, apparently. Before I got here. I guess technically he still is, he's buried out by the church." She really hadn't meant to make any of this about herself, but then, if the point had been to distract Kate, then this would probably do it, regardless of how much she didn't see the need to go into details without prompting.

[everyone_takes]

"Wait, seriously?" Kate asked, feeling guilty for having brought it up now. "He was here before you and he died here? That's... fuck, I'm sorry." She'd gotten dumped and that sucked enough, but at least the person she'd loved enough to marry hadn't died before she'd even hit twenty. That had to suck more than pretty much anything else Kate could think of. "That's super shitty," she said, shaking her head.

[refusedtocall]

As far as Carla Jean was concerned, that was putting it mildly. She'd been here close to a year, though, which meant she'd been a widow for the same amount of time, and though it had taken her a while upon arriving to learn about what had taken place when Llewelyn had been here, she had started to come to terms with it, inasmuch as a person could. She wasn't about to fall apart over it now.

"It wasn't like losin' anything I hadn't lost already," she said simply. "He'd died back home, too, not long before I got here."

[everyone_takes]

"It's still shitty," Kate said, frowning deeply. Even as pissed off as she was at Harry right now, the very thought of him dying made her feel sick, like her stomach was tying itself in knots. That wasn't supposed to happen. People weren't supposed to meet someone and fall in love and marry them and then lose them like that.

It made the whole thing with Harry seem a lot less terrible, even if it was still terrible in its own way.

"I'm sorry," she said. "I totally shouldn't have brought any of that up."

[refusedtocall]

"It's fine," Carla Jean said, and she meant it. The fact of it being the truth at all wasn't, and never would be, no matter how calm she may have been, but there wasn't any harm to be done in Kate's having brought it up. Truthfully, it was never all that far from her mind anyway, especially not these days, when each flicker of movement out of the corners of her eyes seemed to be Chigurh. "You don't have to be sorry, I don't mind."

[everyone_takes]

"We need more drinks," Kate said firmly. There was no doubt in her mind that if the both of them got totally shit-faced, they'd probably feel a little better. Not that Carla Jean seemed to be totally upset or anything, but sometimes getting drunk just helped.

"Like, a lot more," she said. "I wish there was someplace to go dancing without having to wait for the raves. That'd be fucking awesome right about now."

[refusedtocall]

"It'd be fun," Carla Jean agreed, mouth pulling to one side. Even if it wasn't the sort of thing she did usually, it seemed like it would be entertaining enough, and right now, a distraction definitely wouldn't go awry. In the absence of that, though, they were just going to have to work with what they had. Tipping her head back to drain the last of what was in her glass, she nodded once when she straightened again. "But since there's not, definitely more drinks."

[everyone_takes]

"More drinks!" Kate said in a voice that was a hell of a lot more cheerful than she actually felt before she got up and headed back to the bar. She returned a few moments later with another drink for the both of them as well as the shots she'd promised earlier and had completely forgotten about.

"One for you," she said, putting the drink down in front of Carla Jean. "And one for me. And two for you and two for me." With the drinks and shots in front of them, she grinned, leaning back in her chair. "So what should we drink to?"

[refusedtocall]

"Hell if I know," Carla Jean laughed, grinning at Kate's return. Even if this wasn't what she usually did with her evenings, it really was beginning to seem more and more like something they both needed, a way of unwinding that she wouldn't have thought of herself. It didn't matter that the subject of her husband probably wouldn't have come up otherwise. That it had was all the more reason to drink. "You got any ideas?"

[everyone_takes]

Holding her shot between her fingers, Kate considered the options. She could make it about Harry or Carla Jean's husband, but the point of this whole night, she thought, was to not be thinking about that. "We should drink to the two of us being hot and awesome and all those other things that we're not supposed to say about ourselves because it makes us look arrogant, but I usually have no problem saying anyway," she said. "Sound good?"

[refusedtocall]

Carla Jean laughed, surprised by the warmth in its sound. It wasn't that she hadn't been having a good time — she clearly was — but even for her, it was a quick rebound. She didn't know if that was the company or the drink she'd already had setting in, but she also didn't care. Right now, she was glad for it, nodding in genuine, if amused, agreement as she lifted her own shot. "Sounds good," she agreed. Normally, she wouldn't have even thought like that, but right now, the situation called for it, and maybe Kate had a point.