[Post-rave: For Jeff & Danny]

[everyone_takes]

Kate had no idea how she'd gotten to the Compound.

She didn't know what time it was or where any of her friends were or why she was at the Compound instead of at the rave. Maybe it was over. Maybe it was so late that it was done and she'd tried to stumble home and had instead found herself in the rec room, surrounded by books and movies and things she didn't want.

Earlier, she'd been feeling good. Well, not good. Good enough. For some reason, good seemed to be escaping her lately, like maybe she wasn't capable of feeling it right now. But the rave had offered an escape; a distraction she'd snapped up greedily, but she couldn't remember the last hour or how she'd gotten into the rec room or why she was even there and although the drugs were still coursing through her, they felt dark and unhappy. She didn't know where Harry was and she didn't know where Marshall was and it was late. Everything was dark.

People were still moving about, she could hear them, like she always did when she was in the Compound. It was never silent, never completely still, not like home had even managed to be now and then.

She wandered toward the bookshelf, even though she didn't want a book. She wanted to go back to her room and sleep until the world stopped spinning and she wanted to be sure that the people she loved were okay -- her mom and her dad and Charmaine -- and it wasn't until she leaned against the bookshelf that she realized what every single shelf was filled with.

A Doctor's Harrowing Journey of Treating a Woman with 17 Personalities and The Dissociative Identity Disorder Sourcebook. Kate frowned as she scanned the rest of the shelves, finding more of the same. A Shattered Mind and The Stranger in the Mirror and book after book on trauma and attachment and it was stupid, it normally wouldn't have bugged her much, but she couldn't take it right now.

"Fuck you, you bastard," she whispered, pulling one book off and letting it drop to the ground. It was strangely satisfying and Kate grinned, pulling off another and another, each thump on the floor causing her smile to grow. She didn't realize that the noise was louder than she thought, didn't realize she wasn't actually whispering, but shouting at the bookshelf. Each book she pulled off was replaced with another, all of them about DID, all of them about the disorder, but nothing about her mother.

"This is all bullshit!" she shouted, getting her hands on the shelf itself and trying to pull it out. Maybe if she toppled the whole damn thing, maybe if she burned it, then it would stop. In the middle of a pile of books and movie reels, Kate began to search herself for a lighter, finding a book of matches in one pocket of her shorts. Like most of the night, she couldn't remember how they'd gotten there, but it didn't matter.

She was going to burn this fucker.

Comments

[everyone_takes]

They definitely weren't all that lucky, but it seemed like everyone Kate met had either done something big already or was well on their way. Even if doing something big just meant not fucking up. It was better than her resume, which basically included a shitty restaurant chain and a stint as a half-naked comic book character.

"Well, it must be nice," she said finally, eating more of the bread. "To be that sure of something."

[haolehothead]

"Yeah, it is," Danny agrees with a stupid smile on his face, considering that he did what he loved and he got a thrill out of serving the community in doing it. "How're you feeling?" he asks, his attention still on her chewing. "When you're sober enough, we'll do official introductions. You know, when you're bound to actually remember me."

[everyone_takes]

"Well, the lights are a lot less exciting than they were a few hours ago," she answered dryly, but she could feel the headache creeping in and although she knew getting to sleep would be a bitch, it was probably needed. It was always like this after one of the raves and usually she was in her own bed, where the headache and inability to sleep didn't bother her so much.

But this time she was in jail.

"Besides, I can't forget the first person to ever arrest me," she added with a smile, even though it hurt her jaw to do so.

[haolehothead]

Danny chuckles at that, grinning as he salutes like that's something to actually be proud of. "I've got you in for holding. Your first real arrest is probably gonna be someone else. I mean, unless you're gonna give me that honor twice-over," he says with a smirk. "We'll take a picture with you in the cuffs and everything."

[everyone_takes]

"I'll just try not to get arrested again," she said, finishing one of the pieces of bread. Leaning over the edge of the bed, she grabbed the water glass and took a sip before she set it down again. It wasn't like getting arrested was at the top of her list of things to do. They'd had enough run ins with the cops over the past few years.

"It was a one time thing," she decided.

[haolehothead]

"That's for the best," he admits, watching her as she renounces arresting for all futures to come. Or, you know, the less-dramatic of that. "I know a couple people who got arrested all the time when they were young. The trick is getting it out of your system before you're sixteen and the record slaps you on the wrists. Juvie? Nah, they seal those things."

[everyone_takes]

Kate wondered if it still worked that way when your alter was fifteen. She was sure T had managed to get herself arrested at least once. If she'd avoided that, Kate was definitely impressed.

"What about here?" she asked, leaning back on the pillow and stifling a yawn. She was more exhausted than she'd expected and the headache was getting worse. "Do they seal them here, too?"

[haolehothead]

Danny gives her a sympathetic look. If this were Gracie, he'd dig out another blanket and pillow. Though, if it were Gracie, he'd also think seriously about losing the key until she learned her lesson -- or siccing her mother on her. "Here? To be honest, I think people are pretty lax about what kids get up to. I mean, as a cop and a Dad? I don't really agree so much, but if you show signs of community devotion, yeah, they'd get thrown away or sealed or whatever you want to call it."

[everyone_takes]

Kate wasn't really sure she showed any sort of community devotion. For the most part, she tried not to be too much of a dick, but she didn't do anything except for play guitar, sunbathe, dance and eat. "The rules were never a big deal at home," she admitted. "Well, I guess my parents wanted them to be, but it's hard to enforce the rules in a situation like that."

And she'd pretty much done what she wanted, anyway.

[haolehothead]

"I know a guy," Danny says offhand. "You two would get along. He thinks rules are meant to be broken. I mean, lucky for the world he also has a Batman-like sense of justice. Or Superman. I don't know, which of them is the one who wants to put bad guys away and bring about world peace? Or am I just thinking about Miss America, here?"

[everyone_takes]

"Are you trying to set me up?" Kate asked, pressing her face into the pillow and trying not to think about how many drunk people had done the same before her. God, she hoped they washed this thing.

"Because I already have a boyfriend," she continued. "Although he's definitely not Superman. He's better."

[haolehothead]

Danny snorts heavily. "I'm not setting you up with my fiancé, sorry kid," Danny informs her, giving her a dubious look even though the mental image has now popped to mind and is doing a damn good job of amusing him -- he could probably christen a new face of Steve's, probably aneurysm-stroke face. "How better than Superman are we talking?"

[everyone_takes]

"Harry Potter better than Superman," Kate answered, though it was more than that. She'd never read the books or seen the movies, so she didn't know much about him in that vein beyond what friends at school might have said. (And, if she was honest, she hadn't really paid attention when they talked about wizards, anyway.) It was more than just being from a book that was super famous.

"I totally did not do boyfriends, anyway," she added. "Then he sort of, um... I don't know. Fuck it, anything I think of sounds super cheesy."

[haolehothead]

"On behalf of my kid, lemme assure you that yes, Harry Potter is way cooler." It'd been hard to avoid the books when he had a four-year-old clamoring for new stuff every night. Worse, clamoring for the accents because Mommy did them. Trying to explain to your kid that 'Mommy is British and Danno shouldn't have to' didn't really fly. "Hey, lay it on me. I am King of Cheese, these days."

[everyone_takes]

"No, it doesn't matter. I'm not any good at that sort of stuff, so I'll just, you know, not say it," Kate said, because she wasn't prepared to admit to herself how much she liked Harry half the time, nevermind to the cop in the room. "I think I need to sleep now. My head is fucking killing me."

It would be worse tomorrow, but maybe she could sleep through most of it.

[haolehothead]

Danny waves his hand, like he's giving permission (even though he knows that she doesn't need it from him). "Yeah, go on, get some sleep. I'm still gonna be here in the morning and we'll discuss ramifications. Okay?"

[everyone_takes]

"I'm aquiver with excitement at the prospect," she said, burying her face in the pillow and trying to ignore the pounding in her head. She probably deserved whatever ramifications they came up with, but right now, all she wanted to think about was sleep.