everyone_takes | (no subject)

Kate's never been much of the 'talk about her feelings' type. She knows most of that is because of the way she grew up, everyone tiptoeing around Tara, making sure they didn't set off any of the alters by accident. She knows it's also the reason she rebelled so hard, too, went in the complete opposite direction and made everyone super aware of all her superficial feelings in as loud a voice as she could manage.

That's different, though. That was never real or serious. There aren't that many years between her and Overland Park now, but there's enough that she can see it for what it was, but seeing it doesn't mean she's stopped it. She still acts like that, still acts out when she can't see another way to deal, but it doesn't work. That much she's figured out. It just doesn't work.

Pushing things down, pretending they're not there, none of that works for long.

She can't talk to Danny about this, she's sure of that, and she's not remotely interested in going to any of the therapists on the island. Not that they're not great, she's sure they're perfectly nice people, but she doesn't trust most mental health professionals and she doesn't see that changing any time soon. Her friends are awesome, but it's kind of a limited social circle and of the two she trusts the most, there's only one she can talk to about any of this.

Which is why she's dragging Carla Jean along with her to the Winchester. Not that she thinks she has to force her to come along, but she still feels a little awkward. She's just not good at talking about her feelings.

"So," she says, drawing the word out as they near the bar. "Dinner's totally on me?"

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"Oh my god, so I explained it to him and he was just like, 'That's cool, I want to be Island Beastmaster'," she says, grinning. "And then he said that nice boobs are a dime a dozen, which is just ridiculous, because there are plenty of less than stellar boobs in the world. Even on the island, I'm sure they're not all totally perfect."

"Lord, leave it to a teenage boy," Carla Jean replies, head tipping back as she laughs. She's never really cared much for them, really, though she's barely out of the same age bracket herself. With Reggie, though, there's something slightly different, the combination of earnestness and false bravado proving to be strangely endearing about as much as it makes her roll her eyes. "They are definitely not all totally perfect. Clearly, he doesn't know what he's talking about."

"Right?" Kate asks, gesturing. "It's totally weird and it's like... okay, it shouldn't even be a consideration, I'm like, totally getting ahead of myself, but what if it actually worked out? What if he is interested in going out and... yeah, I don't know. It's kind of intimidating."

"Oh, God." Carla Jean can't help but laugh at that, for all that she's not really sure it's something she wants to be thinking about. With all Kate knows and all Reggie doesn't, the idea alone is both amusing and horrifying. "That's definitely one word for it."

"I know," Kate says, laughing, too. She's still sort of embarrassed, but she's also glad that she's finally said something, too. Even if she doesn't talk a lot about her feelings, it actually feels a lot better having it out. "But now I'm totally stuck. I like having you guys as roommates, so I don't want to make anything super awkward."

"Hey, as long as I don't have to hear anything, y'all do whatever you want," Carla Jean says, hands raising defensively, though she's more teasing than not. They've clearly addressed that that isn't on the table yet, that there's no telling if it even could be. "No, I don't know. The only experience I have is... It just happened, easy as anything."

"Yeah, Harry's pretty much the only boyfriend I've ever had," Kate admits with a small shrug. "Most of the other guys it's just been..." She trails off and waves her hand. Some of them have been significant, but it's mostly been sex and not dating.

"I had to like Reggie, right?" she asks, then laughs again and drops her forehead to the table.

"Sometimes there's just no helpin' it," Carla Jean says with a huff of a laugh, though it's entirely true. She certainly hadn't meant to fall for someone more than twice her age, a customer at the store just like any other, but in the blink of an eye, there she'd been, married at sixteen and moving out of her grandmother's house. "And who knows? Weird or not, it could just work."

"Maybe," Kate says, lifting her head and leaning on her hand. "Except I'm pretty sure he thinks he wants to like, sow his wild oats or whatever. But without any of the actual sowing, because that would mean he was getting laid and we all know how that's not happening. We talked about it before, about how people on this island just seem to jump into relationships and get married and settle down and he seemed pretty against it."

She pauses. "Not that I want to get married. Just... a world of no. No offense."

"None taken," Carla Jean replies with a huff of a laugh, shaking her head. "It ain't for everyone. At least you know it." She's known too many girls, at least peripherally, who got married because they thought they had to (or because they really did have no other choice). She doesn't see anything wrong with Kate's approach when at least she's up front about what she does and doesn't want. "Do somethin' casual, maybe. Ease into it. See if that works."

It's good advice and Kate knows this is why she decided to talk to Carla Jean over anyone else. She hasn't come looking for advice, exactly, but it's welcome all the same. "You're right," she says. "Totally right. That's super good advice and even though I usually suck pretty hard at taking advice, especially good advice, I'll um... I'll do it this time."